You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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