Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
