is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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