was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
