my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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