im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
