Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
