I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
