i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
