rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
