I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
