then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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