His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize