I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
