You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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