I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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