Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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