Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
