Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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