Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
