Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
