It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
