i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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