it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
