ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
