I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
