So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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