What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
