It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize