he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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