we made out on top of his cat.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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