Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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