I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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