...so i touched it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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