The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize