It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
