oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
