aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
