my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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