She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
