I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
