I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
