sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will pee on everything he values.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I need water and some morals
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
