How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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