Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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