Welp...herpes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
