He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
