if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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