I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
