You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
