One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize