I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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