then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
