i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
