Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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