Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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