I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
