The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize