I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
