I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
