Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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