my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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