she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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