i think my mom watched the whole time
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
be right there i have to get my cape
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
