i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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