i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
