he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
