I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
