I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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