what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
