why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
