I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
