So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
