long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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