You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How does it feel to date your dad?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize