OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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